I'm matched!

I got to speak with L, the Intended Mother (IM) on Monday.  It went great!  She started off by calling me by someone else's name which was funny and helped break the ice.  The other thing that worked well was that when I get nervous I stop talking.  It's like my brain shuts down and I couldn't formulate a question to save my life.  But when she gets nervous she talks a lot!  What a pair we were.  Luckily she put me right at ease and I was able to join in the conversation soon enough.

I got a call from the agency on Tuesday morning asking me how it went and if I'd like to proceed with them.  YES! was my answer.  She said that was great because they said the same thing.  So I'm officially matched :)

I'm excited to meet her and her husband in person soon.  They seem like great people and the girl at the agency has worked closely with them for some time now and gave glowing praise.

Wednesday I heard that my medical records were sent to the Dr at UCSF.  I hope to start my medical screening next week.  Fingers-crossed!

In-Home Assessment

I had my in-home assessment today.  It was nice to actually talk with someone in person.  She asked me a bunch of the same type of questions that I answered in my profile: Why do I want to do this? What were my previous pregnancies like? Do I have support in case I'm put on bed-rest?
Right now we're still waiting on my medical records to be released.  After that they'll be reviewed by a Dr. at UCSF. 
The potential IP's live only an hour or so away.  I can't say anything about them, but they sound sweet and I'm hoping I can help.  Looking forward to meeting or chatting with them soon!
(Sorry, this feels like a really boring post but I'm not allowed to talk about a bunch of the stuff we went over today.)

Another baby step...

My in-home assessment with a representative of the agency will be this Thursday!   She should also be getting all of my OB medical records this week too.  Apparently there is another couple who live closer to me that are also interested in a birth center delivery.  I may get a chance to talk with them this week or next.

So when the original agency finally e-mailed me back to set up a meeting I had to let her know that I've been in contact with another agency and they have potential matches so I've agreed to exclusivity for now.  She was bummed because apparently she had 2 couples interested as well!  So much for me being "hard to match"!

What a night...

So I heard back from both agencies that I contacted Tuesday night.  I'm not sure I can name the agencies yet, so I'll just call them "A" & "B".  Both ladies were very nice and interested in working with me.  They both said they do not require exclusivity but they do prefer it due to the time, energy, and cost that they put into the screening and matching process. 
I started working on the complete application packet for agency B when I got an e-mail from agency A.  They actually had a couple that had asked about using a midwife.  So she contacted them and told them that she may be getting a surrogate that would prefer a birth center over a hospital delivery.  They liked the idea!
So last night I changed gears and powered through agency A's very lengthy application.  I was up SO late finishing it up.  So now I'm tired and wishing I still drank coffee.... but at least everything has been sent off.
I also had my first experience of telling someone what I'm doing and them not being supportive.  It hurt because it wasn't the response I had expected.  But oh well, it's my decision regardless of what that person thinks of it.  Maybe she'll come around later.

Just feel like rambling about my evening

Ughh... my head is spinning!  I read some not-so-great things on a Surrogate Mother's message boards about the agency I had picked out.  Basically it amounted to the case manager (one for a different state) bad-mouthing the online forum and telling the girl to stay away from "those" ladies.  Then she pressured her to sign a contract agreeing to be exclusive to that agency for 6 months.  I know that's just one local case manager's opinions and not necessarily the views of the company, but it's just odd.  I'll ask my case manager her opinion when I talk to her next and see what kind of response I get.

So I've spent the evening looking at other agencies and reading reviews from a couple different message boards.  I had no idea there were so many agencies out there!  I guess I imagined a couple dozen, but it's more like hundreds!  Anyway, I found 2 more that I liked so I sent messages to both of them.  I figure it's definitely worth talking to them at least.  Maybe they'll be more optimistic about delivering at a birth center *fingers crossed*.

I hope I hear something, from someone tomorrow!

1st contact with the agency

I had my first discussion with the local case manager (forgot to write down her name...arrgh..) yesterday.  She wanted to go over a few things from my application, mainly the part where I want to give birth at a birth center instead of a hospital.  That can be a hard thing to find a match for.  I let her know that I really want to try to find Intended Parents (IP's) who would be open to a birth center, but if that wasn't possible then I would consider a natural/non-induced hospital birth.

So now I'm waiting for the final e-mail that confirms that the Director has approved my application.  Once that happens we move on to the in-home assessment, release of medical records, and background check.  After that comes the meeting with the psychologist to make sure I'm not a crazy person.  Assuming I pass all that, I'll be cleared to match and she'll send my profile out to IP's who may be a good fit.

I hope I get the e-mail soon!!!

Today's update

I completed my final application last night and sent it off with a couple family photos.  Today I received an e-mail from the program coordinator.  She said her director is reviewing my application now and she strongly feels it will be approved.  I'm to expect a call from the Nor-Cal case manager early next week to set up an appointment to meet!

My first blog!

Wow.  I can't believe I actually have a blog....  I don't think I've ever even read a blog until middle of last year!  So if I commit some sort of heinous blogger-crime please feel free to call me on it.

I'm creating this blog to document my journey as a gestational surrogate.  My hope is to have a place where I can share my anxieties, fears, joys, and new-found knowledge during this crazy ride.

Right now I'm still really early in this process.  I submitted my initial application yesterday afternoon and now I'm working on finishing my complete application.  I was surprised by some of the questions I've had to answer.  I expected the straight-forward stuff, like medical history, education, employment, etc. But "describe my personality", "what is my philosophy on life", "what is my fondest childhood memory", "letter to the IP's (Intended Parents)...  These are the things that have stumped me.  But, I'm getting through it slowly.  I'll probably have the full application in by tomorrow.  Can't wait to see what comes next!


My friends have been nothing but supportive when I shared the news yesterday.  They've asked lots of good questions that I thought I'd address here as well:

1. What are you going to tell the kids?
• I haven't thought much about this one...  at only 2 & 4 years old it's hard to anticipate how they are going to feel/think.  As of now I think we'll be explaining that we're helping a couple to "build" a baby (as my son would call it).  
2. Am I just the "incubator"?
• Yes, I am going to be a gestational surrogate (as opposed to a traditional surrogate) which means that I will have no genetic relationship to the baby.  I'm just the oven for their bun. 
3. Do I get to choose where I deliver?  
• I have no idea yet...but it better be in water!
4. If I do it once, and it goes well, would I do it again? Or do I think it'll just be a one time deal? 
• Right now I'm leaning towards a one time deal.  But we'll see...
5. What is my motivation? Do I just basically want to be pregnant another time, or did someone inspire me to do it? Or am I just feeling led to help a family in need?
• I'm not sure how to answer...  I wasn't inspired by anyone.  I just really loved being pregnant.  I loved how I felt and I adored feeling a baby grow inside me.  I have had easy pregnancies and my baby girl's birth was just so amazing that I've felt I wanted to experience it again.  Also, I've found so much joy in experiencing what it is to be a mother that I ache for people who can't carry their own baby.  If I can help fill a void in a couples' life and enjoy the miracle of childbirth again, then I'm all for it!  The other thing that motivated me is that I did not want to look back, 5 or 10 years from now, and talk about how I wanted to be a surrogate but never quite got around to it.  I would have regretted that.