Almost 29 weeks

Since I passed the gestational diabetes test just fine the doctors (the peri & the midife) decided there was no need for me to come back in to see the midwife until the next growth scan.  That means I don't go back to San Francisco until 11/3.  That's 4 whole weeks!   There have been years and years that went by where I'd never go into the city.  But this is the first time I've gone longer than 3 weeks since our transfer back in April! 


It's a nice break from the driving and I know I can use it!  I think after the next appointment they'll start ramping back up until I'm eventually going at least once a week in December.  Blah....

Joseph's mommy is going to come up here and visit next week.  We'll go out for lunch.  I'm really looking forward to that.  I love the time that we get to spend chatting outside of the hospital setting.  She told me today that she's scouting out a place for us to stay in the city before delivery and I'll get more info soon.  Apparently she's looking into a 2 bedroom, furnished apartment or suite.  Fun!  I hope we have enough time in the city to enjoy it before I deliver.  New Years Eve could be fun, if I make it that long, and if I feel up to it!

Joseph is also now getting to hear his mommy and daddy's voices!  She bought me these cool things called BellyBuds.  She just e-mails me a recording from them to the baby, I plug in the Belly Buds to my iPhone, stick them on my belly, and open the attached file.  That way he gets used to the sound of their voices before he goes home with them.  I haven't listened to any of the files (because it's their private conversation and I wouldn't want someone else listening in if I was talking to my baby) but I think she's going to make recordings of her reading children's books.

Today we got to enjoy another benefit of being a surrogate.... we had a maid service come in and make the house spotless!  From now until the end we'll get bi-weekly house cleanings.  I wasn't sure I'd take advantage of the housekeeping allowance, but now that Scott's back to work full time I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep up with the house.


Here's a belly picture.  I'm almost 29 weeks.  I look really big!  We just had a huge meal so I think that's partly to blame. 

The test...

Last week I was dreading the impending 3-hour glucose test.  I needed to fast for 8 to 12 hours before my 9:30 appointment.  So I ate a big dinner and planned on snacking before I went to bed around 9.  But by then I was still full from dinner so I skipped my snack.  But of course I woke up at 1:18am...starving!  I figured I had 12 minutes so I better get moving.  I dragged myself to the kitchen for a banana and some raw almonds.

But when I got up at 5:30 I was still hungry....  I hate being hungry.  I feel sick and I get crabby.  Luckily by the time I got on the road I was able to distract myself enough to function.   My first blood draw was done by 9:45.  That was done to get my baseline blood-sugar reading.  Then I had to wait 45 minutes for them to test my blood so they knew how much glucose to give me.  I got the drink at 10:35 so my blood draw times were 11:35, 12:35, & 1:35.  So it was 1:45 before I could eat anything!  I was a bit worried about the drink making me sick on an empty stomach so I asked the lab tech how often that happened.  He said about 1 in 20!  I knew that I'd have to do this all over again if that happened so I was hoping that wouldn't happen to me.

Between my iPhone and my book, the time actually passed fairly quickly.  My IM showed up for the last hour and brought me a pastrami sandwich.  She wanted to stay with me for the whole thing but I told her I wouldn't be much fun to be around when I'm hungry and crabby!  When the test was finally over at 1:45 we had 15 minutes to eat our lunch and then get to the next appointment (with the perinatologist).  I INHALED that sandwich.  It was almost embarrassing to know that she saw that.  LOL!

The peri did his ultrasound and everything is great.  Baby Joseph (oh, did I tell you he officially has a name now?!  Cute side story on this to follow.) has turned head down and is measuring a little over 2 lbs.  The peri was confident that I'd pass my glucose test.  If not... he said he'd eat a broom.  That would be a sight to see!

The next day I got the good news that I passed all the stages of the glucose test.  No gestational diabetes for me!  I celebrated by making a batch of chocolate chip cookies Friday night. :-)

So the cute side story: when I told our kids about being a surrogate I used a book called The Kangaroo Pouch.  It's a story about a kangaroo family and the mom decides to help another kangaroo family by letting their baby grow in her pouch until he's ready to go home to his parents.  And a baby kangaroo is called a joey.  So it's just perfect that I'm now carrying around a baby Joey!

24 weeks

Ready for another long update?  Get comfortable....

On 9/6 we had another growth ultrasound with the perinatologist.  Everything still looked great.  He again voiced his opinion on doing a home birth....

Speaking of the home birth, I knew it was a long shot but it's officially off the table now.  I had a feeling my IM wasn't fully comfortable with the idea even though my IF liked it.  But I knew it would be official once I heard that my IM was going to have a meeting with the head of the Labor & Delivery department.  No way was she going to come out of that one thinking that it was the way to go!  So I'm not surprised but still a bit sad and a bit scared.  Just a little bit though, nothing to worry about.

So I'll deliver at UCSF.  They've assigned to me a midwife and a high-risk OB, however I'll see the midwife for my appointments.  She was okay.  I didn't feel the same level of comfort that I had when seeing my midwife at Kaiser.  But I imagine that some of that is coming from me and my expectations and fears.  She was a bit surprised that I had gone 24 weeks without seeing anyone, but everything was fine.  My blood pressure was great, the baby measured just right, and I've only gained about 4 pounds.

We talked a bit about what delivery is like at UCSF.  She mentioned the labor tubs but that you have to deliver in the bed.  What made me nervous was that basically you'll have a midwife do the delivery if you're lucky enough to deliver in banker's hours, roughly Mon-Fri 8-5pm.  I may look into hiring a doula to be there with me, especially in case I deliver when there is no midwife around.  She did try to assure me that I don't need to worry about coming in expecting to battle with the OB's in order to get a low-intervention, unmedicated birth.  I hope she's right!

Oh, there was other thing she said that really through me for a loop....  We talked briefly about what my plan would be once I get close to the due date.  If I wait until I'm in labor to get to SF then I might not make it.  So there's a good chance that I'll be "moving" to the city at the end of December.  The midwife suggested that they could induce me if it would be more convenient!  Ummm... NO!  I was really surprised to hear a suggestion like that coming from a midwife especially when she already had in her files that I'd had a home birth in the past, we had a birth center delivery planned this time, and that I want low interventions.  I just don't see where pumping me with pitocin to trick my body into delivering a baby early fits into that!

UCSF also has a protocol that all IVF patients do weekly non-stress tests starting at 32 weeks.  I've never had one of those.  From my understanding it's used for people who are past due or people who are high-risk.  My IM is going to look into it and see if it's really necessary or if they're just doing it to participate in some sort of study.  I asked the ladies on an online surrogate forum and nobody else who is pregnant with only one and not high-risk has been asked to do them weekly.  Sounds like it's just a UCSF thing.

And finally, after my midwife appointment I had to go up to the lab and do some tests.  One of them was the 1 hour glucose screening.  I had to drink a cup of the nastiest stuff.  It was like flat Sprite with 137x the amount of artificial sweetener.  Then I sat around for an hour and had my blood drawn.  They're looking at how fast my blood processes the sugar.  I failed.  So now I have to go back in 2 weeks and do a longer test.  Failure this time would mean that I have Gestational Diabetes!  This time I'll have to fast for 8 hours, then have my blood drawn as a baseline.  After that I drink the stuff again (double the amount this time I believe) and have my blood drawn 1, 2, AND 3 hours later.  I can't eat anything during the test either.  That sounds like complete torture!  I don't know how I'll keep from getting sick to my stomach...

(Oh, I've tried to adjust the settings on here so that comments could be left again.  If anyone actually made it to the end of this novel, would you mind trying to leave a comment to see if it's working?  Thanks!)

20 week appointment

Yesterday was a great day :-)

I headed to S.F. bright and early, 6am, expecting to be to UCSF by about 7:15, half an hour early for my appointment.  I've had enough 7:45am appointments in the the last 3 months to know how to time it..... except I failed to factor in that school is now back in session.  Oops!  So I finally get to UCSF at about 7:55.  Ugh, I HATE running late!  But that was the small glitch in an otherwise pretty great day.

The ultrasound chick went to work scanning the baby.  Everything still looks great.  He's measuring 20 weeks & 3 days which is exactly where he should be.  Then the lady surprised L & me with this shot on the screen.

(Ignore the weird spot on the skull... it looks creepy but it's just where his head was up against the amniotic sac or something.  The picture apparently only really works to capture the stuff that's surrounded by amniotic fluid.)

Then the peri came in to do his own scan and review with us.  He asked me how everything was going and that's when I got to ask him about something kind of odd and gross.  Ready for this?
So I mentioned that a few days ago I felt a kind of burning pain around my belly button.  I googled it and determined that it was just stomach muscles stretching apart.  I've had a cold so I've been doing a bunch of coughing the last couple days too.  Then Monday I noticed a tender spot on my belly, about and inch above my belly button.  I could feel something under the skin, about the size of a large pea.  Once again I tried googling for an answer.  I came up with "umbilical hernia".  Basically a little hole opened up between my ab muscles, which separate during pregnancy, and my bowels poked through the hole.  When I pushed on the lump I could feel the stuff go back inside.  Gross huh!?!  Anyway, the peri confirmed that is exactly what is going on.  It's fairly common and it's not dangerous.  He said the best thing to do is to push the stuff back in any time I notice it popping through.  Otherwise the stuff that comes through could harden and basically die, causing infections.  They usually go away (mostly) or get much, much better after delivery.  So I may not need to worry about it at all.  But he said if it does need to be fixed it's a very quick, outpatient thing.  But in the mean time I just need to keep pushing my intestines back inside!  Yuck!

After the ultrasound was done T (the daddy) came in so the Dr. could review everything.  T has been very guarded about his feelings and nervous that the rug would be pulled out from under him at any second.  He's also the kind of guy who's hard to read.  He always looks serious, like he's playing poker or in a serious business negotiation.  So when the Dr showed him the 3D picture of his son I stole a glance at him.  Serious look, same as always, with a smile just barely peeking out of one side.  It was a great thing to see.  He even said, completely straight faced and with no raised tone to his voice, "I'm so excited".  It was the funniest thing!

The Dr reassured everyone that he recommends we do not do an amnio.  Yay!  But, he still wants to monitor me every 3 to 4 weeks.  I think he means through the end!  Man, it's really true that these high-risk guys don't want to give up control once they've got you!.  But whatever makes the parents feel more comfortable is fine with me.  Now they just need to figure out the plan to get me some prenatal/maternity care with either an OB or a midwife.  Apparently UCSF has some midwives that work along with high-risk doctors that I may start seeing.  (Even though he's said this doesn't qualify as a high-risk pregnancy anymore...)

(This is getting long.... better step up the pace a bit!)

So after the appointment I got to spend about an hour just chatting with L.  That was really nice.  I've had to rush back to work after a bunch of the appointments but yesterday I decided to play hooky and blow off work for the day.

Next I headed to Corte Madera to do a little bit of shopping.  I had a William Sonoma gift card and wanted to get some nice maternity pants for work.  My aunt Mary met me there and we had a blast!  She took me out to lunch and we had a great time.  (Thanks again Mary!!!)

My agency rocks!

Not much to update on the baby bump this time.  (Oh!  Did I mention that I'm finally feeling him move?  Best feeling ever.  I got to text my IM the first time it happened and she was so excited.)

I just wanted to take a moment to say how awesome my agency is.  The vast majority of their surrogates are in the San Diego area.  They have group picnics and meetings.  Recently they had some sort of spa day.  Obviously I'm too far away to go, but the surrogate coordinator is so thoughtful.  She sent me a gift certificate for a local day spa and also one for a favorite restaurant!  So today I was pampered with a 50 minute pedicure and we're going out for dinner in a bit.  Yay!

And here's the 19 week belly shot.

18 weeks

So Friday Scott had a great idea, or "the craziest idea of his life" if you ask him.  LOL.  He thought it would be nice for him to take the dog and the kids to visit his parents for a couple days!  So I have a QUIET HOUSE!!!  That hasn't happened in at least 5 years.  But that leaves me with no excuses for not updating my blog.  My other plans include eating a salmon dinner without hearing complaints that the house "stinks" like fish, watching a girly movie that Scott wouldn't sit through, reading a book and actually getting through more than a paragraph at a time before being interrupted, and going to bed early.  I'm totally living it up!

But back to the update.  Thursday we had our big 18 week anatomy scan with the peri.  My IM met me there before the appointment and said T (the IF) would be along in a little bit.  She really wanted him to have a chance to talk to the peri and get reassured.  He's still very nervous about anything going wrong which is why he was still leaning towards doing an amnio.

While we waited the topic of the birth came up.  She said T was totally okay with a home birth if that's what I wanted.  He thought it would be cool to have his son born in his home.  L seemed more worried about the mess and the clean up.  I laughed and said that we'd use a blow up birthing tub (not her tub) and the midwife would take care of the clean up.  I suggested she bury the placenta in the back yard and plant a tree on top and her jaw dropped!  She said I could take it with me to do that at our house.  LOL!  But still, we both said there's a lot to think about and we have time so nothing is set.  I need to think about it more and decide where I would feel more at ease.  If we end up going to the hospital I will look into have a dula there with me though.  I'd like someone to be my advocate and my voice when I'm in pain and not necessarily thinking straight. 

Anyway, the scan went pretty quick.  They were able to see the baby very clearly and everything looked as close to perfect as possible.  The hemotoma was barely noticeable and my uterus showed no signs of problems from the reduction. 

So then T came in and the dr reviewed things with him.  There was discussion about to do or not do an amnio.  In the end they decided that I'll go back in 3 weeks and if there is still no signs of any problems then we'll skip the amnio.

We also talked about being released to Kaiser for prenatal care.  It had already been decided that I would not be seeing my Kaiser midwife but an OB instead.  But now the UCSF doctor said he doesn't even want me going to Kaiser at all.  I've had Kaiser all my life and never had a problem with Kaiser, but then again I've never (knock-on-wood) had any issues.  He said Kaiser is great if you're healthy but if you're not then it's the worst place to be.  He went on about Kaiser doctors and wives of doctors that he knows go to UCSF for care.  He'll continue to see me until 24 weeks at which point if all looks good he will no longer consider me high risk.  But after that I don't know where I'll receive prenatal care.  I know it's not my first rodeo and I don't need to be babysat through the basic stuff, but it is very odd to me to go 24 weeks without ever seeing a doctor for "me".  No weigh-ins, no urine tests, no belly measurements, no discussions of nutrition, etc.

Oh, and then there was the final part of the appointment.... L randomly brought up in our conversations with the dr that we may be doing a home birth.  Ugh.... Don't let a high-risk pregnancy doctor know that you're looking into that!  He made his point of view very clear....

But like T said after the appointment, his is just one opinion and it's coming from the point of view of someone who only deals with high-risk situations.  He doesn't deal with normal pregnancies and deliveries.

Still, between that and the Kaiser conversation I left feeling pretty down.  "Attacked" isn't quite the right word for how I was feeling but it was headed that way.  L & I really wanted this to be an uplifting appointment were she could finally breath a sigh of relief and feel that everything was going to be okay.  But now it's dragging out another 6 weeks and the Kaiser/home birth discussions were just more negative energy to deal with.  But, the important thing to focus on is that the scan was as good as could be and everything is going to work out :-)

Finally getting around to an update....

So much to say...where do I start?  I guess I'll start with recognizing the fact that I'm not very good about keeping this blog up to date!  Sorry!  But if there was anything major going on then I would have said something.

Let's see, I left off with the check-up with the RE regarding the spotting.  Everything was fine.  So we had the follow-up with the peri on 7/6.  Once again everything looked good.  T & L were both there for that appointment and they found out that they are going to have a baby boy!  They are so thrilled! 

The next week I DIDN'T have to go to San Francisco!  It was the first time in 8 weeks that I didn't make a trip to the city.

So today I made the trip again for another check-up with the Peri.  He just wanted to check on the progress and possibly do an amnio.  That scared me because of the pain I had from the last procedure.  But I would do what had to be done.  L told me before the appointment that she wasn't sure an amnio needed to be done but that the Dr's were suggesting it to put her mind at rest and that she felt she should do what they suggested.  But today the Peri actually said that everything looked as good as can be with the baby and he sees no reason to do an amnio and would suggest it not be done!  Yay!  I like him :-)

I'm almost 16 weeks along so he couldn't consider this the "official" 18 week anatomy scan, but he still said everything is great.  So I'll go back again in 2 weeks for the "official" one.  Then, I think.., I'll be done with the trips to SF and can start seeing someone local!

There's one other change that we're working on.  I've agreed to deliver in San Francisco instead of near home.  It means a lot to T & L that their baby be born in the city, just like the 2 of them were.  So today we talked a bit about how that would work.  With baby girl I had 2 days of pre/early labor but once the real thing started it only took 4 hours.  So we joked about how fast I'd have to get to the city.  I said that if the baby came too fast and delivered in the car then I'd just tell Scott to keep driving until we got in SF city limits!

The other thing that is currently up in the air is the where/how do I deliver thing.  I looked, but there are no free-standing birth centers in the city.  That seems crazy to me!  So there are 2 options:  deliver at UCSF where they have private bathrooms with tubs for laboring in but I'd have to get out to deliver, or home-birth at their place with a midwife.  I'm leaning towards the home-birth of course, but I know that's a huge shift for them.  She seemed very open to the idea today but I told her to think about it and talk with T to see what they are comfortable with.  I'm going to recommend the Business of Being Born documentary to her because it may help.  But I really am okay with the UCSF option.  Yes, I went into this wanting the water birth.  But I also understand this is so much bigger than me.  I already had my almost perfect water birth.  I'm not going to cause tensions by trying to recreate that.  I want them to be comfortable with how their child is born, be it in the hospital or in their home. 

Oh, here's 2 final things that I will share:

The Baby Bump finally made a permanent appearance at 14.5weeks.  Before that I'd look like this every night after dinner but it would be flat by morning and stay that way all day.

And here he is!  This was from today at 15.5 weeks.  He's got his legs up over his head.